From Beach to Mountain..... and Empty Nest Revisted - 3

Good Wednesday Morning!

Saturday I returned home from the Oregon Coast.......and tomorrow will be heading in the opposite direction. Switching gears from a focused week behind my camera to a few days focused on our youngest.

Within a weeks time, I will have traveled from sea level to a city built in an ancient lake. 

From work to play. From 'me' time to family time. From colorful beach towns to Rocky Mountain fall colors. From the muted tones of the Pacific horizon to a Saturday football stadium sea of maroon and silver. 

Last week was about raucous fall waves, windy beaches, working harbors, sea stacks, seabirds and sand. This weekend......about a raucous group of twenty year olds, music, listening, fun, football and food. 

For sure it will be about food! Reservations are secured at his favorite restaurant. Cookies are in the oven. Spicy marinated soba noodles packed in containers and ready to go. And I know we'll stop for a sandwich and cup of 'Hangover Stew' or enormous 'Mondo Burrito' at a couple of our favorite lunch places.

Last week I was anxious to find out what the ocean and it's coastline had in store for me. This week I'm looking forward to seeing what my son has in store. Finding out how he has planned our days. Living in his world for just a bit. Observing what he thinks is important and worthwhile.......how he expresses himself and what he is proud of.

Below is the link to the third in a series of re-posts about the 'Empty Nest'. It is an essay I wrote a while ago that was picked up by Mamalode Magazine.....so by clicking on it you will be directed to their website.

Commencement

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead!

Warmly, Margaret

The Empty Nest - Revisited

Last evening I sat, along with a group of women....all of us mothers......in a friends living room for a chat. The main topic was the 'empty nest', and so, wine glasses in hand we talked about surviving it. Thriving in it. Looking beyond the enormous gaping hole left in our kids wake.  Those of us who've been there for awhile had a few suggestions and stories to share with the others. For a few the transition was fresh; for others it is impending within the next year or two.

When our youngest was getting ready to head off to college (or should I say I was attempting to get ready for him to head off to college.....mentally he had been out the door for months), I said to Marc, "This isn't fair. No one tells you about this part when you're excitedly planning for a baby." 

Until just before each of them left......I hadn't given much thought to them actually...... (gulp) leaving. As it should be, I think, but as with an earthquake......some level of preparedness might have been nice. To paraphrase a cliche, 'When one door closes, another swings wide open whether you like it or not'.......and I know that personally I had a choice: To either be overwhelmed by that gaping hole, or to take full advantage of its enormous opportunities.

A freshly emptied nest is what prompted me to begin this blog in the first place. It gave me an organized way to process and deal with my thoughts, feelings and experiences. A healthy way to miss my boys. It was a chance to express myself and explore my interests. Posting became something I looked forward to, the very best part of which was the thought of sharing parts of this transition with others. 

Fall is here. Many 'nests' have recently emptied. Many know it will be happening within the next couple of years. So with the conversations of last evening in mind,  for the next few Wednesdays I'll be re-sharing some of my posts about the empty nest, beginning with the first one and taking it forward from there. I hope that they somehow make a difference, no matter what transitions are taking place in your life. Click below for a link to the first:

Time

I will have separate posts about other topics as well.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.

Warmly, Margaret

One of Those Places....

You know how sometimes you have a special place? Somewhere you end up and just know when you're there, it's the one place on earth you should be at that moment? A place that provides you with memories and something to look forward to? Your mind clears. You are suspended in time. You soak it in because you understand it will be awhile until you return. I suspect most people have a place like this.

It's kind of difficult to describe to someone else......how you feel about a certain place and why. I'm guessing this is because what makes it 'that place' is a unique combination of experiences that are yours alone: a portion of earth that has the uncanny ability to evoke thoughts that relate to the big picture of the rest of your life. Your connection to it feels instinctive, visceral, emotional. It is peaceful. I will tell you that I have a few such places.

Last week we took some friends to Glacier National Park. On my birthday we drove the Going-To-The-Sun Highway to Logan Pass and hiked up to the Hidden Lake overlook......exactly where I wanted to be on that day. We marveled at this road carved out of a mountain side and some of the historical decisions that allowed it to be built....the brave men and women who built it and now, continually restore it. We pointed out ancient layers of stone pushed into jagged mountain peaks, Bird Woman Falls and glaciers that may not last much longer. We noticed the cheerful, historic fleet of red buses, gulped breathes of thin alpine air, and ate the traditional (well...our tradition , at least!) peanut butter and jam sandwiches at the top.

Three of them had never been here before and one, not since he was very young. Along the way, I realized, I was looking at familiar surroundings with different eyes. We had not yet driven the road in September. On the way up I noticed colors beginning to turn and a few leaves floating on the breezes. Rivers, streams and lakes were at their low points exposing rocks and sand and fallen trees I had never seen before. Brooks and waterfalls didn't rush with as much force and animation as they do during summer's snow melt; they tumbled, quietly and differently. Up top, mountain goats weren't as numerous, but you could still tell the youngsters from the mamas. End of the summer wildflowers were fading and going to seed, and the grasses and other ground cover changing to orange and gold and straw.

I was aware that I was seeing through different eyes for another reason. It struck me for a moment that I really wanted our friends to like this place, too. To see and understand why I love it so much that I return at least once a year. I allowed this thought to float around in my head, but only briefly and then I made it leave. We each own our individual experiences. The most I could ask for is that we were able to show them a good day. That we enjoyed the fact that they shared one of our favorite experiences with us.

I typically don't post photos of myself here on this blog, but since this was taken on my birthday, I thought it was an OK idea!

Wishing you a wonderful fall week ahead!

Warmly, Margaret

The Day After

This year Thanksgiving dinner was just the five of us. All of the extended family was out of town and no relatives came into town. I told the boys to be sure to invite anyone that they knew who didn't have a place to go......but, it seems, that everyone did. I shouldn't say 'just us'. Although I missed the family and the liveliness of a crowd, the day was nice and low key. We all had a chance to come together and catch up.

I have to say, I enjoy the day after a holiday. Maybe it's because I function as the head planner and cook. When all of the preparations are finished and the the meal has been served and cleaned up, I can put my feet up and appreciate the holiday in a different sort of way.

No one except Marc had to work the day after this year, and he was home by about 10 AM.  The rest of us slept in and stayed in our pajamas for as long as we felt like it. Ate a left-over lunch and then went to a late afternoon movie. In a couple of days everyone will be back at work or at school. I'm so thankful they all made it home.

 And now...... Christmas preparations begin........ 

Wishing you a wonderful weekend and safe travels for your loved ones.

Warmly,

Margaret

Thankful

I've been looking forward to writing a post about gratitude for a couple of weeks now.  It makes sense to me at this time of year to take stock of the goodness in my life.

A few years ago I decided to keep a journal listing three things I was thankful for each day. What I found was that even on the most difficult, frustrating or unproductive ones, I could come up with many more than that. And that in doing so, I focused more on what was good, right, wonderful and humorous than on any other part of the day. I did indeed feel fortunate......thankful. 

I should dig out that journal and take another look.  The boys were much younger and I wonder if what I chose to write about then is so very different than what I feel now. I read a interesting article in the NYT this morning about gratitude and have provided the link Here.

Each day I am grateful for Marc and each of our boys. For our extended family and friends. For those we spend time with, want to spend more time with and who mean so much in the big picture of our lives. For the ones that share their lives with us and want to be a part of ours. They are what really matter. For our health and the fact that we have a roof over our heads and enough food to eat. These are the 'big' things, the most important things, and I try hard never......ever...... to take them for granted.

Along with those mentioned above, today I will also pay attention to some of the things that enrich and add to the layers of my days. I've made a quick list. If you've taken a look at my blog posts over the past several months, what I came up with probably won't surprise you. I tend to write about what makes me happy, grateful or has made a positive difference in my life. For now, I'll limit it to 25......although I know there are so many more.

~~~~~~~~~

25 Things I'm Thankful For:

 1. Coffee. The smell. The taste. Filling my cup is the first thing I do each the morning.

2. Chocolate: Cookies. Brownies. Hot. Milk. Dark. Need I say more? It contains healthy properties and makes me happy.

 3. My Camera. It encourages me to see what I otherwise might not. Allows me to snap up and preserve moments. To capture light. It is an extension of myself and has proved to be an inexhaustible outlet for creativity and tool for learning.

 4. A few minutes in a peaceful place. Anyplace.

 5. Knitting. A pleasingly tactile communion with color, fiber and creativity. I love days when I can't wait to sit down and get to work on a project. I am grateful for the knitters in my life: Those who taught me how to knit. The ones who have demonstrated its value. Those I can talk about it with. Those who 'get it'.

 6. A good walk.  When I mentioned this to my dad, his response was, "Glad to hear it. It's good for you and helps your disposition." Spoken by one who walks every day and has for as long as I can remember.

 7. A good book to get lost in for a few minutes or a few hours or a few days.

 8. That no members of my family are really too far away.

 9. Friendships that continue despite distance or time passed.

 10. New people I've met.

 11. Anything handmade, homemade, homegrown or crafted in small batches.

12. A good pie crust. I've talked about this before. But really......a forkful of flaky, buttery crust surrounding what ever filling I'm in the mood for makes the pie.

 13. My faithful Golden Retriever. He follows me, loves me, wants to be with me. I can deal with the shedding.

14. For times I don't have to hurry. I know that this means not filling my days too full. Sometimes I have control over this....sometimes I don't. I am truly thankful for the days I can move around unstressed by time.

 15. The things my parents taught me. A vast, useful, solid set of values, lessons and guidelines for a life well lived. I could write volumes.......

16. My back yard. It is a picture that changes daily. Beautiful. Peaceful. Dynamic. Nature.

 17. That I often remember what someone said to me years ago, "Like the Nike ad says, Margaret....'Just Do It'."

 18. For times I remember to be patient: With myself, with others and in different situations.

19. My piano. Although it doesn't get played often......in fact in recent years, hardly at all..... it sits in our living room, available. There isn't a day I walk past it that I don't look forward to sitting down and playing again.

 20. Homemade food; Healthy ingredients. It isn't always easy to find the time...and is oh-so-tempting not to......but I feel better when I allow for the process of planning and shopping and chopping and cooking. When I know what ends up on my plate. 

21. My computer: Email. Communication in real time. Storage. Photoshop. Spellcheck.

22. A car I feel safe driving. One that gets me out and about in all kind of weather and terrain.

23. Getting out of town (it doesn't have to be far) and the new perspective I have when I come back.

24. When I step outside my 'comfort zone'. Uncomfortable at times......yes......but I'm always glad when I do.

25. For the seasons as they change: Appreciating the previous one. Preparing for the next.

~~~~~~~~~

What is it that you are thankful for? Wishing you a Wonderful Thanksgiving!

Warmly,

Margaret

Prepared

I am a day late in posting.  For as disciplined as I've tried to be it happened anyway as life took over in a variety of ways and trumped my own personal goal to post each Tuesday and Friday.

Knowing that the week before Thanksgiving is BUSY, I had plans to get things mostly put together for this post by Thursday. It didn't happen. On Friday morning I got out of bed extra early in order to give myself a couple of extra hours in the day. Nope. This was in itself a learning opportunity......just like the rest of this blog has been.

I have to chuckle at what I seem to have forgotten so quickly about having three boys....now men....at home. Things that don't apply when it's just Marc and I. Like trips to Costco to replenish what I know the five of us will easily go through in a week. (Could it be that we have been going out to eat just a bit too often...or that what I've been cooking up for two has been......lacking?) That's how I spent the better part of Wednesday and most of Thursday of this week: Filling my cart with what I knew we were out of,  what we would soon run out of, things we would go through quickly and food for our Thanksgiving meal. And then there were the new pillows we've needed for awhile. And sheets and a mattress pad to replace the ones that Patrick took with him when he moved. 

For as much time as it took to consider and choose and decide what would make the cut and end up in my cart,  even more was spent loading it into and out of my car and finding or creating space for it in the refrigerator, freezer and pantry. I had forgotten how the Costco run can turn into the one chore I do all day. And when I haven't been in awhile and all five of us will be in the house together.... all day for two days.

Currently, there is one tired body sleeping in a freshly made bed in a recently cleaned room upstairs. I'm expecting another on on Monday and one more, Wednesday. I think (but am not 100% certain) that I'm finished with Costco until then. But in the meantime, I forsee  quite a bit of chopping and mixing in my recently stocked kitchen. Stirring a pot on top of the stove. Something baking in the oven or tossed in a salad bowl. Last night it was steaming bowls of Cincinnati Chili with all of the toppings and an Apple Cake. This morning I'm thinking homemade waffles, bacon and orange juice. These are the things I miss and now look forward to. Watching those boys eat. Knowing they are sleeping in a clean and comfortable room.

Wishing you a very happy week ahead with much to be thankful for. I am thankful that you read and check in, and for your friendship. Be back Tuesday!

Warmly,

Margaret

This Time of Year

I have ended up at this most picturesque shopping village a couple of different times this week. Once to pick up an extra ball of yarn, and once for lunch at the Boarding House during an errand filled Saturday with Marc. The Boarding House is a place I've been stopping for a bite to eat ever since I first moved to Seattle. Back then, it seemed like quite a drive out of the city and was where I used to meet my mom for lunch on her way out of town after a visit. My favorite combo......and the one I've been ordering for years......is the avocado-veggie sandwich on whole grain bread paired with a bowl of potato-dill soup. I think I've had it every single time I've eaten there. They are well known for that soup, as well as for their apple crisp, which you can purchase by the 9 x 13 pan, should you want/need that amount.

The sorry fact about today is that I have come down with one of the many bugs that are being passed around at this time of year. I missed meeting up with my walking group this morning......just couldn't do it as we tend to walk fast and choose steep hills and long distances......but I'm hoping to be much better by the next time we meet. Don't want to lag too far behind! The rest of the day will most likely spent on the couch with hot chocolate, knitting and a favorite heavy blanket. The dinner I had planned may be put off until another night in favor of a pot of soup.

Enjoy your week!

Warmly,

Margaret

Seattle

Seattle was where I moved after college in order to complete an internship and was where I decided to take my first job. It is where Marc and I met, dated, fell in love, were married and began life with our boys.

Although we've lived in a small town east of the city for a number of years, there are days when I miss it. Days in which I feel the need to touch base with this part of my/our history. Every once in awhile we make the drive in......for a concert, a sporting event, for dinner. Every so often we feel the need to revisit places that we know and love, or to try out something new.

A couple of days ago it was time.......for a walk around Greenlake and a bowl of clam chowder at Duke's across the street.

Boo!

A couple of weeks ago the farmer from this stand at the Saturday Market made sure that I took a picture of this tomato he dressed up! Loved that!

Happy Halloween, All!

Margaret

Still Me

This past year I've spent some time catching up with a couple of good friends. The three of us studied at the same university, moved to the same city afterward and eventually shared a house for a period of time. We saw each other through jobs, job changes, new cars and boyfriends, and went on a couple of vacations together. We each got married, had children and eventually two of us moved out of the city where we had participated in each others lives on such a regular basis. We've managed to see each other occasionally during the past few years, but it all depended on schedules......and rarely included the three of us in the same place at the same time.

About a year ago......at the request of one of the women, we met up for another vacation. No husbands, no kids, just the three of us for a week in a condo on an island. I have to say that for as much as we had all kept up via cards and Christmas letters and the occasional phone call, email or visit, I was just a little nervous to spend an entire week in the same space after twenty-something years. What if we were different? What if they had changed? What if I had changed and the friendships that worked well for me in my twenties no longer did? But I went.

We clicked quickly back into easy conversation. After reminding one another about some old stories and then working through the details of our own personal new stories, we moved on.......to having fun together where we are now. Since then, we've met up for a couple of short stints, the most recent being last Saturday.

Reconnecting has caused me to give some thought to my twenty-something year old self. The 'me' in my post college years when I was truly on my own, making choices and decisions about how to spend my time and who to spend it with. Learning to identify my skills and interests, and to prioritize the use of what limited resources I had. 

And what I found was this: I am still basically the same person, still prioritizing the same things. Choosing friends and who I spend my time with for the same reasons; spending hours in ways I find meaningful. I still have a pet that is a wonderful companion (although back then it was a big orange tabby) and think that belonging to a family is a pretty good deal. Still love to cook up a good pasta dish. Write down my thoughts. Carry a camera. Still enjoy spending an afternoon reading or baking or knitting. Walking is still my favorite exercise; Fall my favorite season......although I might just say that about each season as it comes along.

Looking back at the threads that have run so consistently through my life......I find it comforting. They are my roots and structure and foundation. Although there have been years when I could not give them as much time or attention as I may have wanted, I have not let them go. They are 'me'.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

Warmly,

Margaret

Autumn

    It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

                                                                - Henry David Thoreau

Happy beautiful fall day to you,

Margaret

Home Again

A short piece I wrote about adjusting to the fact that my children are now adults was published at www.mamalode.com yesterday, which was kind of funny timing.  It was posted on the day we were returning to a newly 'emptied nest' after a trip to Missoula to visit Peter and Joey. The day a moving van picked up the rest of Patrick's things, and that he boarded a plane to go live in Indianapolis 'for good'. Timing......

Here is the link. Hope you will check it out:

http://www.mamalode.com/blog/2011/10/17/almost-there/#more-7647

After a couple stops, one at Hudson's Hamburgers in Coeur D'Alene for lunch and one to visit with my parents, we returned home tired, but happy nonetheless. It was a great trip but good to be home. The dog was so happy to see us.

We have heard mention of Hudson's quite a few times and have often talked about stopping in to try one of their famous burgers. On this trip, however, we were actually hungry at the same time we passed through! 

If you decide to stop in, this is what you will get: an uncomplicated menu, a good burger and 104 years of family tradition. There are few choices and I believe the current menu is the same as the original. Hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and egg or ham and egg sandwiches. Burger patties are formed and cooked, and pickles and onions sliced on the other side of the counter......the only seating in this small place. I loved it. The cook was the original owner's great grandson.

Good. Simple. Family.

The drive home from start to finish was beautiful. Fall colors on both Lolo and Fourth of July Passes were stunning. Aspen shimmered and glowed golden, and underbrush flamed shades of red and orange. At this point, the larch are barely beginning to turn......just a few shades lighter......but by next week the hillsides should look like a massive a quilt of green and gold.

Once we hit central Washington, the sunset seemed to last forever. The trees, old barns, horses, cattle and farmland that we passed were set against a backdrop of deep blue and pink. Long wisps of clouds looked painted onto the evening sky and we watched the foreground turn into black silhouettes against it.  No time to stop for pictures,  just enjoying the memory.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead......

Warmly,

Margaret

Time To Warm Things Up Inside

It has taken a bit of coaxing to get the dog outside this morning......last night the wind whipped up, threatening just below a howl. This morning it is still gusting and blowing and tossing leaves from their branches. Some swirl and land, while others cartwheel and scoot, ending up in horizontal piles pressed up against the new fence.

Rain is pouring down in sheets so hard that I if I close my eyes, I could pretend I live near a raging river or a waterfall with all of its noise. Huge drops bounce when they hit the patio and fading flowers hang onto their stalks for dear life, bobbing and swinging with all of this action. 

This early morning, the sky is a grey-green back drop behind dark silhouettes of cedar, maple and alder. Although it brightens as the minutes pass, I know that the forecast for today means we will settle comfortably into a dull grey......with only very rare patches of filtered sun expected .

It feels like a day to simmer beef-stew with lots of vegetables. Spice cake sounds good. One thing I do plan to make is a tomato cobbler  (which I consider to be one of the world's most perfect concoctions).... with the two pounds of heirloom cherry tomatoes sitting on the kitchen counter. They are ripe and gorgeous, and range anywhere from pumpkin to nearly black in color.

Saturday was the last day of our local Farmer's Market and I think I will miss the tomato stand most of all. I can't think of anyplace I've found such flavorful and meaty specimens since I was able to pick them fresh out of our garden growing up. With all variety of shapes, sizes, colors and flavors to choose from, I will need to figure out what to replace these with in my diet as they have been a staple all summer long. I will also miss the colorful variety of the rest of the market: items I won't be able to find in the grocery store, the sweet homemade signs, the warm, helpful and happy vendors and the spicy Italian sausage and pepper sandwiches.

Time to warm things up inside now......Wishing you a wonderful week ahead!

Warmly,

Margaret

Fall Fashion Show

What the well dressed flower will be wearing this fall...... Brought to you by the lovely specimens at the Issaquah Learning Garden. Hope you enjoy them!

Have a wonderful weekend!

XO Margaret